Monday, January 14, 2013

Chivalry Isn’t Dead, It’s Just Grown Up: Segment One

Last week on FML, this was posted:
Screen Cap From

Through out the comments rages a debate on whether or not Chivalry is dead via the format of whether guys should pay for dates or not. Let’s face it, we see this argument going on every where from feminists to just friend. Every one has an opinion on it. So it’s time to pick this a part rationally.

First off, she was being naive not bringing any money with her to begin with. This any one can agree with, because let’s face it, anything can happen when going out and one must be prepared. This is her own fault. Strike One.

Secondly,  it’s just impolite to not even offer to pay for tickets or snacks. Has her mother taught her nothing? Even if she thinks that males should pay (which brings up the question of who pays for lesbians dates. I have theories, but none of them are politer [i.e. PC]), this could be her test run date. If the guy pays, he’s a winner. If he doesn’t, he’s a sinner. We all have our criteria and if this is yours, then be prepared to make him/her pay or to not have another date.

Thirdly, here is a list of reasons the guy shouldn’t have to pay for everything on a first date:

1) It’s a first date, you guys don’t know how this will go. If only one person pays for the first date, it turns it into an investment. If it’s an investment, the guy might expect something in return in the end or at least a second date. So if you’re not willing to give a return on an investment, then don’t expect the guy to pay on the first date.

2) Not to essentially repeat myself, but the first date equals an unsure outcome. If the date is bad and only the guy paid, isn’t that cheating him a little? Maybe it’s a relief to you, but to him instead of being out 10-20 dollars, he’s out 20-40. More if the date isn’t a cheap one. Maybe you don’t mind a free meal, but then again, if you’re in it for the free meal, you’re probably not the right person for him. Think of it as hanging out with your friends, you wouldn’t expect them to pay for you, because that would be unfair. The guy doesn’t owe you just because you said “yes” to him. Remember that.

3) To show you’re a decent person. Who doesn’t respond well to being treated every once in a while?  And didn’t your mama teach you it’s just polite to at least offer?

Let’s face it, there’s nothing wrong with however you want to pay for the first date: guy pay, whoever asked pays, or going dutch, but there’s some common sense that has to be put into play here. Just remember: Bring money, be polite and offer to pay (for at least yourself), be thankful either way, and have fun. This isn’t about who owes who, it’s about getting to know each other.


  1. Chivalry means respect. Respect for peers, superiors, lessers, and enemies.
    There are special rules for women 'cuz they're a sub-category of lessers.

    The concept is perfectly applicable to modern life, but maybe we should excise the assumption of misogyny from the specifics.
    And also the parts about stabbing each other.

    (Although really, I see no reason to assume this person was relying on misogyny and not just assuming the person who asked was going to pay; you are right, however, that he or she should have brought money anyway for a number of reasons.)

  2. Exactly! In this case it really is more about the fact that one should NEVER leave the house with no money at all.

    The title "Chivalry isn't Dead, It's Just Grown Up" is a dating series name I'm thinking I may or may not keep.