Sunday, April 21, 2013

I Don't Run

“I don’t run.”

If you know me, that’s all you’ve heard for years despite my natural prowess when it comes to sports. And I don’t, or at least I didn’t until now. Today, I took my first run. This may not be a big deal for most people, but it’s a huge step for me. Being big busted I always made the joke that I didn’t run because I might take an eye out (if you don’t get it, watch some Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball). In reality, I’ve always been embarrassed by doing anything extremely physical with other people around since if it wasn’t a sport (specifically curling, tennis, or softball) I felt uncoordinated. I suppose this could be blamed on how often people picked on me when it came to physical activities, but in the end, despite how others have treated me or how it came about it, it’s my lacking confidence and severe shyness that have always limited me.

 So, I’ve tried over the last few years to get comfortable with myself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Most people have seen my confidence in my myself and my actions grow dramatically. Most have seen my general happiness grow as well. I’ve set yearly mottos, the first one being, “The Year of Facing Fears” and the current being, “The Year of No Excuses”, and I’ve constantly been pushing forward in hopes to become the person I’ve always wanted to be. My biggest outward changes have been lately. I’m learning to speak my mind, enjoy the company of others more, and to ignore my vanity of how I look to others.

I like to think that this big change has come about partly due to the fact that I’ve been focusing on my health lately. Cutting down on caffeine and junk food, watching my portions, and even taking online courses (such as Sleeping Hacking) to figure out what I can change to be healthier has really changed my outlook on my body and myself. Physically I’ve not only felt purer, but my energy level has grown incredibly. Even just the little adjustment of working on my posture has helped my self image grow.

 Admittedly, I didn’t think I’d take the running step yet, but I did. And I pushed forward by the sheer inspiration of the runners from Monday April 15th. I want to be able to say I have the endurance to keep moving forward despite adversity, especially in the pursuit to help others, like many of the Marathon runners did Monday when they continued running so that they could donate blood at the nearest hospital. They didn’t cower in a corner despite what fear they probably felt, instead they saw what they needed to do and did it.

I want that endurance. I need that endurance. I deserve that endurance and I will earn that endurance. If we learn nothing else, if we find no other silver-lining to the horrors of the past week, this should be this: Endure.